Holidays, I hate those

Yeah I hate the holidays, I have to pretend I’m okay when I’m not. Family wants to see me so I have to put on a smile and pretend I feel okay. I always wonder what it looks like after I leave, the cleaning of areas I went. The discussions that happen when I’m gone. What if I cough or sneeze will everyone freak out. It is the south and even family can still have fear based ideas of the virus. It’s not airborne so no worries there. It just always makes me insecure to go around family groups due to these thoughts. The tension won’t end after Thanksgiving as the toy drive is soon after and I’ll be so focused on making it great I won’t relax until I’m there and see it’s all setup and going well. Then it’s back to what I love which is being D-REK. Two gigs in December will hopefully make me feel better through the Christmas and New Years Eve celebrations.