Funny Questions.

What is the funniest name you have actually heard used in the real world?

Dick Army

What is the sexiest and least sexy name?

If you know me personally you know my choices. Sexiest is Kristy Least is Kayla

What sport would be the funniest to add a mandatory amount of alcohol to?

Curling

What movie would be greatly improved if it was made into a musical?

Not sure

If your five-year-old self suddenly found themselves inhabiting your current body, what would your five-year-old self do first?

Wanting to go to the arcade.

What is something that everyone looks stupid doing?

Dancing, no offense I’ve watched people dance in nightclubs for years. Have fun that’s what life’s about.

What is something that is really popular now, but in 5 years everyone will look back on and be embarrassed by?

HIV-AIDS stigma but I’m working to fix that drop some knowledge on the kids.

What would be the hat to end all hats? What could you wear on your head that would make people stop what they are doing and stare in awe and amazement?

I’m not a hat person so not sure.

If animals could talk, which would be the rudest?

Great white Sharks have got to be the rudest. DUH !!!!!

In 40 years what will people be nostalgic for?

No idea

What inanimate object do you wish you could eliminate from existence?

Mirrors they do nothing but make us all self conscious.

What are some things that are okay to occasionally but definitely not okay to do every day?

Netflix binge

What is the weirdest thing you have seen in someone else’s home?

A single woman’s bathroom I took a shower at her house took me 20 minutes to find shampoo. Most confused I’ve ever been.

Who do you know that really reminds you of a character in a TV show or movie?

Tal he reminds me of Ricky Bobby. Thankfully we both grew up from our crazy days.

What would be the coolest animal to scale up to the size of a horse?

Chinchilla

What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever worn?

Hospital gown or the time me and my cousin did a lip sync contest dressed like Kriss Kross

What part of a kid’s movie completely scarred you?

When Mufasa died in Lion King

What used to be considered trashy but now is very classy?

Casual sleeping around it’s still very trashy and risky but thanks to dating apps it happens everywhere.

What’s the most ridiculous fact you know?

Not sure I know a bunch of crazy facts.

What set of items could you buy that would make the cashier the most uncomfortable?

Magnum condoms and duct tape

What is the funniest joke you know by heart?

It’s not appropriate for this……message me on that.

What are the unwritten rules of where you work?

Considering I’m a DJ it’s just make sure everyone is having fun.

What is something that you just recently realized that you are embarrassed you didn’t realize earlier?

I notice everything so not sure.

What’s the best type of cheese?

Cheddar

What kind of cult would you like to start?

I don’t want to start one.

In one sentence, how would you sum up the internet?

It’s great when used for good.

What are some of the nicknames you have for customers or coworkers?

When I worked in nightclubs if I didn’t know someone’s name I knew them for the song the requested.

 

What are some fun and interesting alternatives to war that countries could settle their differences with?

Dance Revolution contest.

What would the world be like if it was filled with male and female copies of you?

Disturbing and hilarious

What’s the best Wi-Fi name you’ve seen?

CIA van #3

If life were a video game, what would some of the cheat codes be?

Infinite life, self healing,

What would be the worst “buy one get one free” sale of all time?

Girlfriends

Is a hotdog a sandwich?

No

What secret conspiracy would you like to start?

That I’m a Terminator wait that’s already been started.

What would be the worst thing for the government to make illegal?

Free speech.

Which body part do you wish you could detach and why?

Can I detach the whole thing get a refund or exchange ? This body is reliable and all but I just want to try out a healthy one.

What’s invisible but you wish people could see?

Everyone is expecting me to say something funny but I wish you could see the monster I’ve kept on a leash in my mind.

What movie completely changes its plot when you change one letter in its title? What’s the new movie about?

TopFun – about indoor skydiving

If you were held at gun point and told that if you didn’t impress them with your dance moves you would be killed, what dance moves would you bust out?

The Vanilla Ice moves while rapping it. That’s my ringback tone call me and you’ll hear it. People get mad when I answer the phone quickly because they were singing along.

Where is the strangest place you’ve urinated or defecated?

Hospital in front of a very attractive nurse.

What’s the weirdest smell you have ever smelled?

Hospitals they all have a very unique smell

What mythical creature would improve the world most if it existed?

Hydra’s at political debates that should keep everyone honest.

How do you feel about putting pineapple on pizza?

I don’t care I’m ordering my own pizza .

You’re a mad scientist, what scientific experiment would you run if money and ethics weren’t an issue?

Find a cure for HIV AND AIDS at this point it’ll have to be a mad scientist to find the cure.

What two totally normal things become really weird if you do them back to back?

Fireball and texting

What ridiculous and untrue, yet slightly plausible, theories can you come up with for the cause of common ailments like headaches or cavities?

To many lies

If you were wrongfully put into an insane asylum, how would you convince them that you’re actually sane and not just pretending to be sane?

I’d escape convince a nurse I’m fine like the Joker in suicide squad.

If you were transported 400 years into the past with no clothes or anything else, how would you prove that you were from the future?

I have a pacemaker it’s very visible so wouldn’t be difficult to convince anyone I’m the new kid in town.

Toilet paper, over or under?

Under

What fictional character is amazing in their book / show / movie, but would be insufferable if you had to deal with them in mundane everyday situations?

If you go to my Facebook dj page I’m a fictional character so D-REK and actually makes every situation fun.

What are some fun ways to answer everyday questions like “how’s it going” or “what do you do”?

I survived another year the grim reaper is pissed.  I’m the DJ

What would some fairytales be like if they took place in the present and included modern technology and culture?

They would all end terribly no more happily ever after.

Is cereal soup?

No

If over time you replace parts on a car, at what point does it stop being the same car you bought? How many parts do you need to replace to make it a new car?

I’m really good at making a car way cooler after I add upgrades

If someone asked to be your apprentice and learn all that you know, what would you teach them?

They probably want to know how to DJ so let’s start there.

What’s the best inside joke you’ve been a part of?

The one where doctors knew I had HIV and slowly watched me dying. They even canceled appointments. I just kept showing up. They became the punchline.